High School in Jakarta (Meaning)

Didn’t you hear Amanda’s moving back to Colorado
It’s 2013 and the end of my life
Freshman year’s about to plummet just a little harder
But it didn’t ’cause we kissed on that Halloween night

This opening verse sets the emotional scene with the return of Amanda to Colorado, suggesting the shift in their friend group or social life. For NIKI, 2013 feels like the “end of her life,” not in a literal sense, but in that exaggerated teenage way where even small changes carry deep emotional weight. She braces herself for a painful start to freshman year, expecting everything to collapse emotionally. But that anticipated plunge is softened, or even stopped altogether, because something magical happens on Halloween night — she and her love interest kiss. That kiss becomes a defining moment of hope and connection. Interestingly, NIKI later refers to Halloween again in her song Before, singing “It was Halloweekend, I just flew across the globe / Twenty-two hours just to see you.” While Before tells the story of how this love fell apart years later, High School in Jakarta brings us back to the beginning — the very night the relationship first began. That duality of Halloween, once a symbol of romance and later heartbreak, deepens the emotional arc of their story.

I bleached half my hair when I saw Zoe on your Vespa
It was orange from three percent peroxide, thanks to you
I needed a good cry, I headed right to Kendra’s
I hated you and I hoped to God that you knew

This verse offers a glimpse into the chaos and intensity of teenage heartbreak. The moment NIKI sees another girl, Zoe, on her love interest’s Vespa, the betrayal hits her hard. She responds not with words but through a physical act — bleaching half her hair in an impulsive, emotional expression. The peroxide she uses turns her hair orange, a botched transformation that mirrors the way her emotions are spiraling. She doesn’t just feel hurt; she needs release, so she rushes to her friend Kendra’s house for comfort and a good cry. That pain sharpens into anger — a kind of desperate fury — and she clings to the hope that he somehow senses the depth of her hatred at that moment. It’s raw, it’s adolescent, and it’s real.

Now there’s drama (drama), found a club for that
Where I met ya (met ya), had a heart attack
Yadda, yadda, at the end, yeah, we burned
Made a couple U-turns, you were it ’til you weren’t, mm

Here, the lyrics shift into a reflection on how their paths crossed amidst the social noise and drama of high school. She jokingly acknowledges the ever-present chaos by saying there was a “club for that,” implying that drama was so constant it may as well have been institutionalized. That’s where she met him — in the middle of it all — and the emotional impact of that meeting felt like a “heart attack,” an overwhelming rush of feeling. Their relationship burned brightly but briefly. There were moments of doubt, back-and-forth decisions, and second chances, hinted at by “a couple U-turns.” For a time, he was her person — “you were it” — but eventually, he no longer was. The change wasn’t sudden; it was the slow erosion of something that once meant everything.

High school in Jakarta, sorta modern Sparta
Had no chance against the teenage suburban armadas
We were a sonata, thanks to tight-lipped fathers
Yeah, living under that was hard, but I loved you harder

In this chorus, NIKI draws a powerful metaphor between her high school experience in Jakarta and the ancient warrior society of Sparta. Just as Sparta was known for its harsh discipline and constant warfare, high school felt like a battlefield filled with emotional and social combat. The “teenage suburban armadas” represent the overwhelming peer pressure, gossip, and constant judgment from fellow students. There was no way their young love could withstand the storm of teenage scrutiny. She describes their relationship as a “sonata,” evoking a type of musical composition that is delicate and complex. Sonata form often features contrasts, tension, and eventual resolution, which mirrors the emotional push-and-pull of their romance. The line “thanks to tight-lipped fathers” suggests that both she and her partner came from homes where emotions weren’t openly shared. The silence and emotional distance from their fathers made their relationship harder to navigate. Yet, despite the suffocating environment, she loved him with everything she had.

High school in Jakarta, an elaborate saga
I still hate you for making me wish I came out smarter
You love-hate your mother, so do I
Could’ve ended different, then again
We went to high school in Jakarta

The story of their relationship is not just a romance but a saga — long, layered, and emotionally consuming. NIKI admits she still carries resentment, not just for how things ended, but for how he made her feel about herself. He may have treated her like she wasn’t smart enough, and that wounded her confidence. In the short film But I’m Letting Go, we see that he was a year older, already in college, and there’s a moment when he calls her during her senior year. That age gap, though small, can feel like a chasm in high school, especially when the older person acts condescending or patronizing. Both of them had complicated relationships with their mothers — loving them but also harboring frustration. That parallel deepens their emotional bond, but even so, things didn’t work out. And maybe they couldn’t have. They were shaped by the place and time they grew up in: high school in Jakarta.

Got a group assignment, I’ll be at Val’s place
You don’t text at all and only call when you’re off your face
I’m petty and say, “Call me when you’re not unstable”
I lie and tell you I’ll be getting drunk at Rachel’s

These lines describe how their communication became increasingly strained. She tells him she’s busy with a group project at Val’s house, maybe as a way to keep distance or protect herself. He doesn’t reach out regularly, only calling when he’s “off his face” — a British/Australian slang for being heavily drunk or high. It shows that his connection to her became careless, dependent on his intoxicated state rather than genuine affection. Frustrated, she throws his instability back at him and sarcastically says he should only call when he’s sober. Then, in a moment of pettiness and pride, she lies and says she’s partying at Rachel’s house. But Rachel, one of her lifelong friends who also appears in NIKI’s short film But I’m Letting Go, doesn’t even drink. This lie isn’t about partying — it’s about making him feel like he doesn’t have the upper hand. It’s about not letting him think he’s better or more mature just because he’s older.

I wasn’t, she doesn’t even drink
But I couldn’t have you sit there and think
That you’re better ’cause you’re older
Are you better now that we’re older?

This is where her vulnerability peeks through. She confesses that her earlier line was a lie. Rachel doesn’t drink, and she wasn’t really at a party. The lie wasn’t meant to deceive him, but to prevent him from feeling superior. That difference in age had become a power imbalance, and she resented the way he may have used it to belittle her. She ends the verse with a haunting question: now that time has passed and they’re older, has anything really changed? Is he still clinging to that sense of superiority, or has growing up brought humility?

High school in Jakarta, sorta modern Sparta
Had no chance against the teenage suburban armadas
We were a sonata, thanks to tight-lipped fathers
Yeah, living under that was hard, but I loved you harder

This chorus returns with even more emotional weight now that we know what she endured. The battlefield of high school and the silence of their families made things almost impossible. But through all of that — the drama, the gossip, the emotional distance — she loved him more fiercely than anything else.

High school in Jakarta, a comedy drama
I still hate you for making me wish I came out smarter
You love-hate your mother, so do I
Could’ve ended different, then again
We went to high school in Jakarta

This time she calls it a comedy-drama, a story filled with ridiculous highs and tragic lows. Her resentment still lingers — not just for the relationship itself, but for how it made her question her worth. Once again, she highlights their shared wounds, including their strained relationships with their mothers. Perhaps they could have ended differently in another place or time, but in Jakarta’s high school bubble, their fate was sealed.

Natasha’s moving to New York (New York)
Probably sometime in August (ah)
And I’m spending the summer in Singapore (ah)
I’m so sad I can’t tell you shit anymore

NIKI brings us into her present, updating us on her life and friendships. Natasha, her lifelong friend and another cast member from But I’m Letting Go, is heading to New York, having been accepted into Columbia University. NIKI is spending the summer in Singapore, and while time moves on, there’s a loneliness in knowing that she can no longer talk to him. They were once inseparable, but now, she’s filled with words she can’t say.

I made friends with Abby this year (this is how I met your mother, oh my god)
We’re moving in in March or so
And although you bring me to tears
I’m glad that we gave it a go

She continues reflecting on her present life, naming Abby, another close friend from school who appears in her music video. The line “this is how I met your mother” is a tongue-in-cheek nod to how significant these friendships have become. Even though her ex still makes her cry, she doesn’t regret their time together. It shaped her. It meant something.

High school in Jakarta, American summer
Had no chance against the Marxist girl with marijuana
I was your pinata, she was a star-charter
Glad she gave it to you real hard, but I loved you harder

In this version of the chorus, NIKI reflects on how their relationship ultimately unraveled. The “Marxist girl with marijuana” is portrayed as a bohemian free spirit, someone new and exciting who pulled him away. The line carries a tone of bitterness wrapped in sarcasm, as if to say, “Of course you left me for her.” She compares herself to a piñata — someone who was emotionally beaten and taken for granted — while this new girl became his escape, someone who offered adventure and desire. The phrase “she gave it to you real hard” may hint at physical intimacy, yet even then, NIKI insists that her love was deeper, more real. No matter what others gave him, she loved him harder.

High school in Jakarta, I won’t, but I wanna
Ask you when you talk about it, do I ever come up
Say thanks to your mama, now we’re through
Could’ve ended different, then again
We went to high school in Jakarta

In the final verse, NIKI admits to a quiet longing. She says she won’t ask — but deep down, she wishes she could know whether he ever talks about her when he reminisces. She wonders if she still lives in his memory the way he lives in hers. With a touch of bitter closure, she sarcastically thanks his mother, suggesting perhaps his upbringing played a role in how things ended. And again, she circles back to the line that explains it all. Maybe things could have ended differently, but the truth is, they didn’t — because they went to high school in Jakarta.