My Mom (Clean Version)

Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay
Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright
Yo, yo
Alright, I’ma lay the chorus first
Here we go now

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I am like I am ’cause I’m like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I’m on what I’m on ’cause I’m my mom

My mom, my mom, I know you’re probably tired
Of hearin’ ’bout my mom, oh-ho, whoa-ho
But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty
And how I became hooked on Va-aliu-um
Valium was in everything, food that I ate
The water that I drank, ******’ peas in my plate
She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak
So every day I’d have at least three stomachaches

Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her
Son grow up to be an undera-******’-chiever?
My teacher didn’t think I was gonna be nothin’ either
“What the **** you stickin’ gum up under the ******’ seat for?”
“Mrs. Mathers, your son has been huffin’ ether”
“Either that or the ************’s been puffin’ reefer”
But all this huffin’ and puffin’ wasn’t what it was either
It was neither, I was buzzin’ but it wasn’t what she thought

Pee in a teacup? *****, you ain’t my keeper, I’m sleepin’
What the **** you keep on ******’ with me for?
****, you need to leave me the **** alone, I ain’t playin’
Go find you a white crayon and color a ******’ zebra

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I am like I am ’cause I’m like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I’m on what I’m on ’cause I’m my mom

Wait a minute, this ain’t dinner, this is paint thinner
You ate it yesterday, I ain’t hear no complaints, did I?
Now here’s a plate full of painkillers, now just wait
‘Til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes
You little ************, I’ll make you sit there
And make that retarded ******’ face without even tastin’ it

You better lick the ******’ plate, you ain’t wastin’ it
Put your face in it ‘fore I throw you in the basement again
And I ain’t givin’ in, you’re gonna just sit there
In one ******’ place, finnickin’ ’til next Thanksgiving
And if you still ain’t finished it, I’ll use the same **** again
Then when I make spinach dip it’ll be placed in the ****

You little ****, wanna sit there and play innocent?
A rack fell and hit me in K-Mart and they witnessed it
Child support, your father, he ain’t sent the ****
And so what if he did? It’s none of your dang business, kid

My mom
There’s no one else quite like my mom
I know I should let bygones be bygones
But she’s the reason why I am high on what I’m high on

‘Cause my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I am like I am ’cause I’m like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I’m on what I’m on ’cause I’m my mom

My mom loved Valium, now all I am
Is a party animal, I am what I am
But I’m strong to the finish with me Valium spinach
But my buzz only lasts about two minutes
But I don’t wanna swallow it without chewin’ it
I can’t even write a rhyme without you in it
My Valium, my Vaaaaaa-liummmm, oh

Man, I never thought that I could ever be
A drug addict, nah, **** that, I can’t have it happen to me
But that’s actually what has ended up happenin’
A tragedy, the ******’ past ended up catchin’ me
And it’s probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain’t it?
Pharmaceuticals are the bomb, Mom, beautiful
She killed the ******’ dog with the medicine she done fed it
Feed it a ******’ aspirin and say that it has a headache

“Here, want a snack? You hungry, you ******’ brat?”
“Look at that, it’s a ᙭anax, take it and take a nap, eat it”
But I don’t need it, “Well **** it then, break it up”
“Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up”
Alright Ma, you win, I don’t feel like arguin’
I’ll do it, pop it, gobble it and start wobblin’
Stumble, hobble, tumble, slip, trip, then I fall in bed
With a bottle of meds and a Heath Ledger bobblehead

My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I am like I am ’cause I’m like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That’s why I’m on what I’m on ’cause I’m my mom

My mom, I’m just like her
My mom, my mom, my mom
My mom, my mom, my mom
My mom, my mom, my mom
My mom, my momma
Me momma, I like-a da momma

Haha, sorry Mom
I still love you though
Dr. Dre, 2010
Hey, this **** is hella hard, homie
Yo, take us on outta here
Woo