The Price Of Peace

I didn’t leave ’cause I stopped loving them
I left ’cause I started loving me
And peace don’t always come free
Sometimes it cost everything

I used to shrink to keep the peace
Bit my tongue, held my breath
Let people stay in rooms with me
Who drained my spirit half to death

I was the glue, the listener
The you know she’ll understand
But nobody asked how I was
They just reached out for my hands

I kept forgiving silence
Excusing disrespect
Calling it just how they are
While losing pieces of myself

My peace cost me my people
But I ain’t sorry for the bill
Had to lose some hearts I held
Just to learn how to be still

I cry for them in private
Even pray they’d understand
But peace don’t come from holding on
To people who don’t hold your hand

They say, “You’ve changed”
I say, “I healed”
But healing ain’t a place
They could stand, so yeah

My peace cost me my people
And that’s the part they’ll never understand
Oh, yeah

Family felt entitled, friends felt overdue
But nobody noticed, what staying around them put me through
Every time I say, “Yes”, when my soul whisper, “No”
I traded my joy just so they wouldn’t go
But peace got louder, and God got clear
He said, “If they can’t grow with you then they can’t stay near”

My peace cost me my people
But survival had a cost
I had to grieve the living
Like somebody I had lost

They still talk in circles
Still say I changed too much
But I don’t miss the noise
I don’t miss the clutch

I gave up chaos, I gave up pain
I gave up playing roles in somebody else’s game
So yeah…

My peace cost me my people
But peace is how I kept my name, yeah

I don’t hate them
I just don’t miss begging for love
I don’t miss explaining myself
To folks who never heard me
I don’t miss holding space
For people who never had space for me

My peace cost me my people
But I sleep better at night
I ain’t arguing with energy
That don’t deserve my fight

If choosing me feels selfish
Then I guess I finally chose right
‘Cause I lost crowd, but I found my light

So if you ask me was it worth the tears
The quiet, the shift? Yes!
Because peace is finally something
I didn’t have to beg to live with